Monday, July 1, 2013

Guarding your heart

I recently read this article on Relevant magazine, and found it very insightful. 

I once ranted about my tendency to "love too much," and how passionate I am about the importance of loving wholeheartedly.

I like to think I'm a loving, sacrificial, caring person. The more I observe my heart, however, the more I've realized that there's a very selfish, insecure girl behind many of my "acts of love." When I look deep down, I see a fear of being taken advantage of, hesitance in giving up my time/money/energy, anticipations about possible misunderstandings and miscommunications. I really don't love wholeheartedly like I should be.

The "guard your heart" lesson has been engrained in my mind, as I grew up and was taught in church. I've taken this little snippet (from Proverbs 4:25) and placed it at the forefront of my mind as I entered new relationships and approached old ones, especially with reservations due to past hurts and "broken hearts."

I believe that I've misinterpreted what whomever wrote Proverbs meant by this phrase. I've seen myself reserving how much I love based off how much care/thanks/service I'm receiving in return. *shudder at my ineffective witnessing*

"Being afraid of wounds from other people might cause us to forfeit the capacity to love. The enemy would like nothing better than to carry Christians to the extreme of isolating ourselves from the world and chaining us with the fears of pain and exposure." 

"If we are simply seeking God, then we entrust Him with our fragile hearts."

zoops. Time to take my eyes off myself. Time to trust God to be my fuel, my portion. How can I make a difference in the lives of others by relaying God's love, if I'm so worried about being hurt by the people He calls me to love?

"There is no fear in love; but perfect love casts out fear: because fear has torment. He that fears is not made perfect in love." -1 john 4:18 

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