Monday, July 7, 2008
i'll tear us apart.
this may never start, i'll tear us apart.
why is it that whenever i get into a relationship, i play such a big part in tearing it apart? i realized that for the majority (or all) my relationships, it's good and simple until i realize that i actually have this big commitment to one person and the fact that i dont know what the hell to do screws everything up, and then i just push him away because then i dont want things to happen too fast, even though i couldn't wait for it to start in the first place. but anyhow, i've learned from my mistakes and i've learned to control my feelings that way. i just pray for the wisdom to know a good boy when i see one. and i pray for patience so nothing is rushed.
i've realized i just want a friend i can do stuff with on random. someone who will always "bounce back" when i laugh at him or we get in a fight, and someone who i can just have fun with while i'm young and well.