i think i've finally matured out of that stage of superstition and blaming anything other than myself for the misfortunes of my life. When you're responsible for your own fate, your true abilities show. And instead of disappointment/luck, it's more like how hard you push vs how easily you give up. And when you succeed, there's so much more pride and satisfaction in that. I like this feeling a lot more. because it's my turn to improve