it feels when everything feels like it's falling apart, and one after another, all your goals and plans in life sort of die out because perhaps you planned according to schedule instead of ability. when you finally realize that you aren't really as great as you thought you were, when it finally just hits you. and then the hope that maybe the outcome of the final hope you have will be the answer to all your problems, and perhaps it will lead to direction. even the little taps of the keyboard of me typing this out surprises me. and i'm still in a little shock, so my blog, please excuse me if i break down a couple times in the rest of this lifetime.
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